Random-ness

I have thought about writing something but have not thought that I had the thoughts to do so. I seem to think that you must only write when you have something that is earth shattering to share. That not being the case now I wish to speak my mind... as messed up as it is at the moment.

Life finds me at a loss. I seem to run into moments of my past more often then late. I have found friends that I thought were lost to me. Lost friends that I thought never to lose. Ran threw my life as if it may end in the next day but seems never to end. I fear so many things that I find myself standing still not wanting to move in case everything comes crashing down around me. Yet in staying still I limit myself to the reach of immobility. Which is no reach at all. I can stay here content with my lot or I can move to another spot and simply hope there will be ground for me to stand on. I wonder if I was smarter, could play life like chess. Planning my moves to better fit my life.... but then one must wait to see how the other will move... how the other will block and send all your well planned strategy falling apart. There is only so many times one can start over a maintain any sanity. Not to say that I had any to begin with. Not for a while at any rate.

There are moments, days when I think that life has the better of me. I think that everyone feels this way at one point or another. But to say that and still be able to see the world in such a way that promotes logic... Logic... my savior and my enemy. I would live my life threw logic but find that life has very little to do with it. We as sentient beings do not live with logic in mind. Not on a base level. We live threw our emotion. Threw our own views of the world or how the world should be. My world is not being kind to my logic, a state of being that I find very difficult dealing with. I can only hope that soon I will be able to come to terms with the part of my brain that must feel...