I have thought about writing something but have not thought that I had the thoughts to do so. I seem to think that you must only write when you have something that is earth shattering to share. That not being the case now I wish to speak my mind... as messed up as it is at the moment.
Life finds me at a loss. I seem to run into moments of my past more often then late. I have found friends that I thought were lost to me. Lost friends that I thought never to lose. Ran threw my life as if it may end in the next day but seems never to end. I fear so many things that I find myself standing still not wanting to move in case everything comes crashing down around me. Yet in staying still I limit myself to the reach of immobility. Which is no reach at all. I can stay here content with my lot or I can move to another spot and simply hope there will be ground for me to stand on. I wonder if I was smarter, could play life like chess. Planning my moves to better fit my life.... but then one must wait to see how the other will move... how the other will block and send all your well planned strategy falling apart. There is only so many times one can start over a maintain any sanity. Not to say that I had any to begin with. Not for a while at any rate.
There are moments, days when I think that life has the better of me. I think that everyone feels this way at one point or another. But to say that and still be able to see the world in such a way that promotes logic... Logic... my savior and my enemy. I would live my life threw logic but find that life has very little to do with it. We as sentient beings do not live with logic in mind. Not on a base level. We live threw our emotion. Threw our own views of the world or how the world should be. My world is not being kind to my logic, a state of being that I find very difficult dealing with. I can only hope that soon I will be able to come to terms with the part of my brain that must feel...
Monday, May 2, 2011
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Energy
What is it about people that takes so much energy? I believe that people exchange energy with any contact that is made. Sometimes there are people you will meet and dislike from the start, other times you can be attracted to people without really knowing why. The energy exchange that takes place when people meet can tell you what kind of a person they are and what relationship you may have with them in the future. This is not always true as people are ever changing, but on a whole it can help you to see things that one would not normally notice. We all have or have had people in our lives that seem to drain us whenever we are around them. People who seem to take something without trying. This is an energy exchange and in this case you are the one feeding the other persons energy level.
This action can happen in many different ways. Some people will want from you sympathy, they will tell you their problems and worries and hope to get the correct response from you. The response is not just patting them on the back and telling them everything is going to be OK. There must be emotion behind the response, one must feel for the feeder a sympathy or pity and pass that too them for the exchange to happen. This can create a very bad cycle for both parties. The feeder who is getting the response that they are seeking will continue to find things in their life to tell the other person about in order to receive the energy. In some cases they will begin to create problems in their life so that the cycle can continue. They may not realize that they are allowing or even provoking unpleasant things to happen to them, but the more bad you look for in life the more bad things will find you. What you feed from will ultimately consume you.
Other people will be on the opposite side of the scale. They will try to control the life of another by intimidation. They take energy from others by pushing their dominance and seeing who will bow gracefully to it. Most of the time the energy that they are looking for is fear. There are of course varying levels of fear and depending on the feeder they will seek the level they are most comfortable with. The cases we know best are the ones that turn violent, but a person does not have to be violent to create fear in another. To manipulate the mind into believing things that are not true in order to maintain control is a very hard cycle to see and break. A feeder can convince someone that they are not capable of surviving in the world with out the protection of the feeder. If put into play early enough and long enough a feeder can deliberately keep the other person from learning necessary skills to function in society alone. This creates a surplus of fear for the feeder and can be turned in either direction for feeding. A person stuck in this cycle is both afraid of the feeder and the thought of escaping the feeder to take on the outside world. The feeder can not only feed on the fear that is held for them but they can threaten to leave the other person "to the wolves" and feed on the energy produce by the thought of the unknown. In most cases the deciding factor as to whether or not a person can break from this cycle on their own is if they are more afraid of the feeder or of the unknown outside. One thing that seems to happen without the feeder being aware is the dependence that they develop for the other person. They will depend on the other person to react as they always have and do what they always have that the thought of that person changing or leaving frightens them. What you feed from will ultimately be what consumes you.
The person giving the energy can be drained over time and no longer have the energy necessary to maintain a healthy life. In most cases people have an instinct that will prevent them from becoming overly drained. They become "fed up" with the feeder and will no longer allow them to feed off of emotions simply by not having them or by refusing contact with the feeder. Once the feeder finds that their source of energy is no longer supplying them they will try to find another person who can continue the cycle. Sometimes the feeder will be attached enough to the person that they will change their behavior in order to keep a relationship sound, but it takes work on both ends for the changes to take place and keep up. If neither party sees what is happening and the cycle continues for a very long period of time the chances of change become slim and usually turns into a miserable existence for both.
This action can happen in many different ways. Some people will want from you sympathy, they will tell you their problems and worries and hope to get the correct response from you. The response is not just patting them on the back and telling them everything is going to be OK. There must be emotion behind the response, one must feel for the feeder a sympathy or pity and pass that too them for the exchange to happen. This can create a very bad cycle for both parties. The feeder who is getting the response that they are seeking will continue to find things in their life to tell the other person about in order to receive the energy. In some cases they will begin to create problems in their life so that the cycle can continue. They may not realize that they are allowing or even provoking unpleasant things to happen to them, but the more bad you look for in life the more bad things will find you. What you feed from will ultimately consume you.
Other people will be on the opposite side of the scale. They will try to control the life of another by intimidation. They take energy from others by pushing their dominance and seeing who will bow gracefully to it. Most of the time the energy that they are looking for is fear. There are of course varying levels of fear and depending on the feeder they will seek the level they are most comfortable with. The cases we know best are the ones that turn violent, but a person does not have to be violent to create fear in another. To manipulate the mind into believing things that are not true in order to maintain control is a very hard cycle to see and break. A feeder can convince someone that they are not capable of surviving in the world with out the protection of the feeder. If put into play early enough and long enough a feeder can deliberately keep the other person from learning necessary skills to function in society alone. This creates a surplus of fear for the feeder and can be turned in either direction for feeding. A person stuck in this cycle is both afraid of the feeder and the thought of escaping the feeder to take on the outside world. The feeder can not only feed on the fear that is held for them but they can threaten to leave the other person "to the wolves" and feed on the energy produce by the thought of the unknown. In most cases the deciding factor as to whether or not a person can break from this cycle on their own is if they are more afraid of the feeder or of the unknown outside. One thing that seems to happen without the feeder being aware is the dependence that they develop for the other person. They will depend on the other person to react as they always have and do what they always have that the thought of that person changing or leaving frightens them. What you feed from will ultimately be what consumes you.
The person giving the energy can be drained over time and no longer have the energy necessary to maintain a healthy life. In most cases people have an instinct that will prevent them from becoming overly drained. They become "fed up" with the feeder and will no longer allow them to feed off of emotions simply by not having them or by refusing contact with the feeder. Once the feeder finds that their source of energy is no longer supplying them they will try to find another person who can continue the cycle. Sometimes the feeder will be attached enough to the person that they will change their behavior in order to keep a relationship sound, but it takes work on both ends for the changes to take place and keep up. If neither party sees what is happening and the cycle continues for a very long period of time the chances of change become slim and usually turns into a miserable existence for both.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Together
Never will the Love be Clean
Never will the Hate be seen
Never will the time go by
Never will I learn to Die
Forever in my heart I keep
Forever in my Love so Deep
Forever in my Thoughts I bind
Forever in my world I find
I see myself inside the mirror
I see the ones I Hold so Dear
In happiness they spend the Day
In Death shall they find the way
And leave to Fate as I may
In the Darkness I do say
Find with me the Love beaten Path
And I will show you Pains sweet Rath
And though you wait the time Forever
You shall Always Find the two Together.
By: Brianna Lewis
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